Not Like This
by McRaider
Summary: SPOILERS: It wasn't that Leonard was hoping they'd die anytime soon, but he'd had an image of being old and feeble dying in a bed together. Not like this. M/K slash.


**Not Like This**

**McRaider**

**Summary**: SPOILERS: It wasn't that Leonard was hoping they'd die anytime soon, but he'd had an image of being old and feeble dying in a bed together. Not like this, not with glass between them, unable to touch one another.

**Author's Note**: SPOILERS. Into the darkness, this is obviously slightly AU, it's more of a what if Scotty had called for Bones and Spock first.

The world stopped shaking, that's when Leonard would remember his world started to fall apart. They'd stopped falling through Earth's orbit; he was in the Medical Bay attempting to help the survivors who were brought in through the destruction. When his comm. beeped. "Scotty to McCoy."

"What is it Scotty, I'm a little busy right now!" Bones didn't mean to sound terse, but when you're surrounded by more than two dozen people who are all practically triaged critical it takes it's toll.

"I need you down in engine'ring," his Scottish brogue was unusually heavy and sullen, even more so than usual. "Immediately, doctor."

"Be right down, I need to rush down to Engineering, can you all handle this?" He didn't bother to wait for an answer; he knew M'Benga and the others would handle everything. Under normal circumstances it took maybe five minutes to get down to Engineering from the med bay, based off Scotty's tone alone, McCoy made it in three.

And what he saw made him sick, Spock was crouching on the floor, his usually stoic Vulcan face was damp with tears and red from crying. He glanced over at Bones and he stood, stepping back, leaning back against the nearest wall he could find. Bones stepped forward, "I'm sorry, Len," Scotty whispered.

As Bones moved closer he felt sick, there on the floor, half way between agony and a fresh wave of tears lay Jim. Bones sank down slowly to his knees, "You…you idiot," Bones whispered, his voice catching at the familiar insult.

"Len, I'm sorry."

Bones nodded, feeling the burn at the back of his eyes as tears started to well, his thoughts trailing over the hundreds of things they'd planned together, wanted to do together. "I...I'm a doctor Jim, not a miracle worker, I can't…I can't help you," he murmured his voice thick.

Jim nodded weakly, another tear trailing the familiar tracks down his cheeks, "I know, I love you."

Bones shook his head, "You shouldn't, I'm supposed to be able to fix you."

"I had to protect you. You were all I thought of," he gasped, grimacing in another wave of pain, "As I did it. You safe," he was getting weaker. Bones could tell it was getting close. He'd never wanted it to happen like this, anything but this. He wanted to touch his lover, hold him tell him how deeply he loved him. Everything they hadn't said yet. They'd only just gotten around to 'I love you'."

"Bones…gotta say somethin', before I go."

Bones nodded, "Anythin' kid," his own accent growing deeper as he tried to keep composure. He watched Jim place his hand against the glass.

"Thanks…for being the first one." Jim replied pressing his own hand to the glass, over McCoy's

Bones smiled sadly and moved his thumb back and forth as if he could stoke Jim's hand. He knew what Jim was referring to, only weeks earlier the young man had confided in him that no one had ever truly believed and loved him the way Bones had. Sure Pike had shown interest and believed in him, but Bones was different.

"Thanks for fixing me," Bones whispered in reply.

"I'm scared," Jim whimpered, "I don't want to die."

Bones sighed, a soft sob escaping his throat as he looked down, watching a tear drip to his pant leg, "I know, but we're here."

"Take care of my people."

McCoy nodded, "I will." He watched Jim's breathing begin to struggle, he could practically feel his heart beat flat lining. The man went limp, his hand sliding down the glass and away from Bones. "Jim," he knew it was irrational, the man was gone. "Jim, please," he leaned his forehead against the glass, as a sob shook his shoulders.

"I didn't know," Scotty whispered.

Bones turned his head slowly and nodded, knowing he looked like a mess, "Commander, call for a medical team, we need to move him to the medical lab." He heard a growl and a second later Spock was racing from the room in absolute fury. Bones wished he could focus like that, but all he felt right now was emptiness.


End file.
